lookica.blogg.se - Lame dad jokes

#LAME DAD JOKES PRO#

My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home!.

I said it must be my weekend immune system.

My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days.

I decided to sell the vacuum cleaner - it was just gathering dust!.

I failed my calculus exam because I was sitting in the middle of identical twins - I couldn’t differentiate between them.

I used to be able to play piano by ear, but now I have to use my hands.

I'd avoid the sushi if I were you - it's a little fishy!.

At first, I thought my chiropractor wasn’t any good, but now I stand corrected.

It’s raining cats and dogs, so be careful not to step in a poodle.

I'm reading an anti-gravity book, and I just can't put it down!.

We’re renovating the house, and the first floor is going great, but the second floor is another story.

A magician was walking down the street - then he turned into a store.

Mom asked me to put ketchup on the grocery list.

I can’t find the words for how much this bugs me.

Most people can’t tell the difference between entomology and etymology.I used to hate facial hair, but then it grew on me.If it were served warm, it would be justwater. Mom texted me from the grocery store to say they’re out of pasta, and we’re penneless.I’m friends with almost all the letters of the alphabet.I ordered a chicken and an egg online.I used to run a dating service for chickens, but I was struggling to make hens meet.I asked him, "What's two minus two?" He said nothing. I wanted to eat a watch for lunch, but it was too time-consuming.Mom is mad at me because she asked me to sync her phone, so I threw it in the ocean.6:30 is my favorite time of day, hands down.That’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog. Every time I take my dog to the park, the ducks try to bite him.Mom said I should do lunges to stay in shape.I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.I'm so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed!.Two peanuts went walking down the street.

A guy walked into a bar, and lost the limbo contest.Your mom and I let astrology get between us.I love dad jokes, but I don't have kids, which makes me a Faux Pa.Just drop these into a conversation whenever there's a dull moment. One-liners are the most versatile tool in the dad-joke toolbox, because the teller doesn't have to wait for any setup. Looking for more laughs? We have lots of holiday-specific jokes, too, including Christmas jokes, Thanksgiving jokes, Halloween jokes, Easter jokes and Valentine's Day jokes - even jokes for Pi Day on March 14!

#LAME DAD JOKES PRO#

Whether you're a beginner dad-joke-teller or a seasoned pro looking to expand your repertoire, these are the best dad jokes to use on your kids. And there's definitely an element of wordplay that brings about those scoffs and whines.

You kind of want your kids to laugh at these, but groaning and rolling their eyes is even better. Instead, dad jokes are more of a feeling. (I'm a case in point - between me and my husband, I'm the one who's more likely to tell the dad jokes, and I'm certainly the only one in my family who laughs at them.) And dad jokes come in all formats, so there's not a specific setup or punchline to start with. There are funny jokes for kids, there are silly knock-knock jokes, there are mind-bending riddles and there are groan-worthy puns, but the hardest quip to really put your finger on by far is the elusive dad joke.įor starters, the name is a misnomer - it doesn't actually have anything to do with the parental status of the deliverer.